You Believe That He Will Stop Beating You.

The odds of that happening are worse than if you bought one lotto ticket a year and hit the Power Ball. The first time he hits you should be the last time. “He apologized and promised never to hit me again.” The apology is to keep you with him so he can continue to control you. The promise is merely a lie as it is impossible for him to keep it. Only mature persons can keep a promise and abusers are probably the most immature people on this planet. The promise will only last until he beats you again, whether it's a day, week or month, but the beating will come.. How many beatings does it take before you have a clue that you should leave?
Why should you leave as early in the relationship as possible and/or have nothing to do with the abuser? Because the sooner you extricate yourself from the relationship the less he has invested in you and the easier it is for him to let go. Once the investment in you, in his mind, is total the only out for him is to kill you.

He only wanted to meet and talk in a parking lot at the bank, a place where they both had gone many times, so she agreed to meet him. She had broken up with him only a few days earlier and went to the bank with her new boyfriend. Of course this told him that she did not belong to him anymore so he stabbed her to death in front of several people – in a public place. This scenario was on this morning's TV news. He is 18-years-old and they had been going out for 4 years. Although there was no history of abuse in this case, if you are going to end a relationship – end it. No public or private place is safe.. When I say “have nothing to do with” and you don't understand the word nothing, look it up in the dictionary. Understanding the word nothing could save your life. Abusers, ex-boyfriends and stalkers are masters at manipulation. 'Nothing' is the operative word here. Is it always easy to leave? No! But far better than beatings and/or being killed. There are Safe Houses to go to and wonderful people willing and able to help you. As an abused person you may feel that you are all alone – you are not.
Is it so hard to understand that if you end a relationship – END IT.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can shurely relate to this article as I was in that scenario in my first marriage.
Get out while you can and do not listen to his begging and crying!

Annette said...

I can relate too! I went through a slow mind control. After 15 years of marriage and being a robot or toy I decided enough is enough. Of course he begged and cried and apologized just like all the other times he beat me - but the last time he did I was at the end and could not take anymore and did not care anymore.....that's when I left! It was the best thing I ever did.
Don't wait until it's too late.... GET OUT!

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